A Kiss to Remember
by wooooooooooxj
Summary: <html><head></head>AU. Even if the worst happened, would it really make that much a difference? The immutable world echoes my thoughts and actions. KandaxAlma fic with an overflow of emotions, Alma being a masochistic crossdresser...eventual lemon to fit the theme</html>
1. Chapter 1

Hello again~! Wooooooooooxj here~! Believe it or not, this story started off as a song called "Only Hope" by Switchfoot. Being as odd as I am, I based the dancing scene off of this song. If it helps set the mood and tone for you, please listen to it as you read along. Seeing as there is only a handful of AlmaxKanda fanfictions compared to other pairings, I felt I should do my part to support such a lovely pairing.

Needless to say, I sympathize with this pairing quite a bit because of my own experience on the subjects surrounding them. But enough about me~! Considering this is such a dark story, this will probably have a lemon somewhere to balance it. As I learn to become a better and better writer, I hope you come along with me on the ride. ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. If I did, I would have stalled the anime until I was nearly done with the story; that's how much the fillers depress me. Not that I can complain. .

He felt as if all the ground would dissipate beneath him - the only proof he was actually _there_ - all of the existence of such an immutable fact was woven into her. Her face was to him in an attempt to turn back, but her body had already decided to move forward. A warm smile enigmatically wrapped around her face that contrasted in her blue eyes, seeming to say 'I love you' -

As she ran through rows of racing horses the sickening sound of snapping bones could be heard among the measured tempo of the horses' hooves and his heart…

_~A Kiss to Remember~_

Alone, on the solitary black marble floor, was the figure. Slowly, swirling, with sheer fabric flowing onto the cold winter waves of the most isolated island. Slowly, dipping his head up to embrace the cold light of the dance floor, he closed his eyes, opening his hands in a subjective embrace to that cold wintery light's kiss. Slowly, stepping as a swan graces the surface of the pool she glides in, he smoothed the tips of his feet in a passionate kiss: impure, cold earth and a sullied angel meeting like sinful lovers in the night. The chiming of his jewelry affirmed his existence in a hallucination of melancholy all seemed to be taking part in. With resignation, he opened his eyes from the wind-kissed night and curtsied to his invisible partner; the royalty appeared like they witnessed a banshee among the guests who gazed onward with lament, and fled from the scene. As he left, onyx eyes turned to amber in prayer for the night to come. As he left, the soul-painted audience felt that bittersweet moment betwixt relief and depression.

Calmly, collectedly, Alma peered into the courtyard from the double-paneled windows. They had placed his room on the third story to ensure he wouldn't escape into the world beyond the palace. Tonight everything will reverberate. Tiny snowflakes fell like loose pearls from the sky, out into the liberating courtyard where the guards were frigidly keeping watch. Mechanically, moving his heeled shoe to the frame of the window, he let his frilled dress spill over the balcony onto the sides of the castle. Breath hitching from the cold, he clenched his gloved hands to the ironwork of the windows. Stretching to connect his other leg to the top of the windowsill, he let the lacey material pour to meet his other leg and the outside world. Eyes deadened from the cold night and burdened memories, he found himself staring into his fate with a solemn reverence. All around him, snowy pearls met his skin, turning into blotchy tears as the night let out maniacal laughs. Smiling bitterly, Alma turned from the bitter sting of those tears and reminded himself of where he was. Sliding off the edge, he let his hands go past the windowsill and its iron fixtures…

Kanda heard the announcements of the guards as they dispersed panic throughout the partygoers. 'Che. What a nuisance. So a person is trying to jump off one on balconies. Shame that's the best they can come up with to leave this party.' Turning away from his wall, he determined that this distraction would be perfect enough for him to escape from this God-damned baby shower he'd been forced to attend. Taking a detour from the frenzied crowd, he ended up opening every other door looking for an exit. After opening up one of the doors to the ladies' powdering rooms (with a shriek loud enough to make him deaf, he bet), Kanda gave his last hope to the door in front of him. If this door didn't lead outside, then none of these doors did. Gulping, he opened the door in front of him. Cold air rushed to greet him as he did the same.

Less than a second after he went outside, Kanda felt himself knocked to the ground. Forcing his head up to meet his captor, he found it was…a boy in a dress? Wasn't he the same one from earlier? "Damn it! Do I look like a pillow? GET OFF!" Kanda stood up, forcing the smaller one to fall from his back.

That petite mouth didn't even solicit a yelp from the fall, much less being thrown off Kanda. All around them, well-wishers were shocked that this stranger caught the suicidal lady. A row of onlookers stood aside as the queen and king approached Kanda and endangered lady. The lady stiffened when she saw them, as if she was afraid of what would happen to her.

The king addressed them first with a duplicitous smile. "Who is this young gentleman who saved this young lady from the grip of death? Come, let us honor you!" Grabbing the "gentleman," the king pulled Kanda away from the crowds, as the queen put a vice-like grip on the "lady," daring her to speak between exchanged glances and a paper smile.

When they got out of earshot of the party goers, the king addressed Kanda. "How much does it cost for two people to live out of this kingdom?"

"Huh?" Kanda was lost.

Ignoring that impudent remark, the king started over. "If I was to tell you to escort that _thing_ over there out of the kingdom, how much money would you need to ensure you both got out and vowed never to tell anyone?

"Two month's wages. I'm not leaving until tomorrow."

"Fine. And I have your word?"

"Che. Yes."

That's as much as I am willing to give for now~. I hope this is interesting enough for you all. Given the AU of this story and the ambiguous background, I felt I could experiment and input loose ends and emotions into this more freely than if I was writing for a more concrete character. Given that, I challenge the most constructive of you all to find some of the songs I used to structure this to. I counted 3 songs (one's a word mention- one hint- it's an American '60's song by Jimmy Webb; the rest are from Rachel Fuller and Imogen Heap xP), not including the one I mentioned.

Anyway, reviews are appreciated, whether it's a flame or a compliment. (Even if you yell at me to stop using such difficult words- I swear I don't intend to! xP )

-wooooooooooxj


	2. Memories of You

Hello again~! For reading this second chapter, I cannot thank you enough!. ^^ Seeing as I don't fully understand the alter/preview chappy thing (To neaten up the overall layout of the story) I hope you bear with me until I figure it out. ^^U Since senior finals are these next two weeks, please also bear with me as I try to balance my anxiety disorder with this story. Even if this story did let me forget it, I wouldn't as long as someone wished me to continue it. (I'm fickle like that ^^U).

**EDIT: Sorry about the weirdness of this chapter when it was first submitted. Somehow Microsoft Word went into review mode, which ended up keeping the deleted sentences when I submitted it, making the whole work look like a kindergardener wrote it at times. I'm very sorry! D':**

My goodness! I just saw a lovely Alma cosplayer on Deviantart recently today~! Some people have such sharp views on Alma's character, but personally I think he and Kanda are just characters that long for someone to reach inside. Eeep! Don't throw things at me! T-T It can be said the most fearful people are the ones who hide behind expectations. So, I love him, no matter how much I hurt him (and Kanda) in this story.

Folowing through with the first chapter, I ought to mention that part of this story is inspired by Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street," as well as my own experience with hereditary depression and the occult.

Won't you join me in this journey of life? With a hop-skip, we'll leave this world behind~

Instinctually, she almost wanted to laugh.

Five children and only two survived; the two locked in combat as enemies. Childish words fomented from mouths to become the swords in their hands and the confusion in their eyes.

Dear brother, don't look at me;

For I cannot look at you in this war of inheritance.

Five siblings, and only two survived. Out of the entire world

_I have only you._

Don't look at me; for I cannot look at our tears, dear sibling of mine…

Kanda stood up from his hidden grotto that he discovered in passing. The sun lazed above, filtered through the lilies and roses. Light cloaked around Kanda, bathing his eyes in a world of singular dimension. Through that light, he almost fancied he could hear heeled footsteps; the light vibrating in its essence until a faint smile could be seen of _her_…

_She_ was always with him, guiding him and protecting him without a single word. Like a teasing, pestering wish, she would always be with him. Sometimes, Yuu would go to her, preferring her company to everyone else: he was simply a wanderer, anyway. Her eyes pleaded for understanding.

'What for?'

She shook her lonesome head, her fabric of existence digressing to unattainable light, fluttering to the immutable earth. As she disappeared, he almost felt part of him disappear with her.

…Nothing could be delayed any further, it was time to leave. Despite his hesitance to get near the other, Kanda decided telling him to get ready was important enough to break his solitude. As he traversed the stairs to the noted door, he though he heard something. A clicking, almost of knitting needles.

Opening the door, Kanda started with an "Oy…"

And stopped right there. The other's eyes were verging on tearful as he clenched the overdress in his hands to his pale form, unbound corset and bloomers just barely revealing his true gender.

_Slam!_

Kanda let go of his desired breath as he felt blood trickle down his nose. Why was he getting squeamish all of a sudden? It wasn't like he had anything to hide. Even with his eyes upon the world, Kanda could still see the younger as if they were face-to-face; still smell the light anemone scent mixed with white chrysanthemums on the younger…

…The embers of the room lit the room like fireflies, illuminating your anxious face as the kisses started at your palm, fairy kisses dancing upon skin in an attempt not to break the fragility of the union. Each intake of breath more noticeable than the next; fingernails asking for permission to continue… moving slowly enough upon flesh to tolerate repentance as they left emboldened trails in their wake…

"Um…y-you may come in…if you wish…"

Blushing a fever-red, Kanda snapped out of the daydream and rushed to get his heart back under control, opening the door.

Yuu almost felt himself being ripped apart.

Alma turned and started from his place at the windowsill. Casting a fleeting glace at the other, he returned a mournful smile.

"Sometimes, I would wish this was all my choice. That no matter what, I could turn back from everything and deny it."

Kanda's wondered how this topic was reached. His relaxed stance returned to that memory of the boy previously, and he for a second he found himself torn between an automatic 'Che' and some feeling beyond his reach.

Alma balled his fists in Kanda's shirt, smothering his face in the fabric, grasping with his fairies' limbs; begging for proof Kanda was still there...

"Sometimes, I wish I could be blind. To not see. To be able to throw everything out of my windowsill and rush down to my parents and hug them and get a hug back.

"To be able to see more than my parent's angry faces. The bitterness is the worst. Knowing that I feel something that cannot be returned. I want to throw my feelings at them, with just the tiny hope that it would make a difference in such a mercurial world. I would be afraid that they would stop even hating me – just that emotion is enough to prove I exist."

Kanda blinked, shaking his head. He was here now, no point in thinking of the past.

"Che. If it means so much to you, why not fight for it?" Another pause. "Get off me."

He was getting apprehensive of the conversation. He hated how much this kid reminded him of himself.

"We're leaving. Meet me in an hour at my room. Don't bring anything you can't carry."

Alma turned towards him with rainy eyes, mouth not quite forming what his mind was mourning.

Kanda quickly left the chamber, not stopping to look back on the face that was flooded with emotions..

He would never let himself admit that Alma's words had gotten to him. He already vowed to leave everything in the past that wasn't necessary to him. He never wanted to get to know Alma, it just happened that he did.

As suddenly as Kanda entered his life he shall leave it.

"Damn it…why?" Alma screeched, throwing a vase at his mirror. With a "_creesh!"_ the needles embedded the rug beneath it. "Why does this always happen to me? Why am I so stupid?" He shoved his dressing-panels to the floor, the groan of the snapping wood vocalizing his inner pain. In a burst of rage he snatched scissors from a table and let the metal bury itself into his porcelain flesh, the metal slicing at the rate of a frenzied rocking chair to his heart. _"What the hell is wrong with me?Why can't I find somewhere I belong?"_ Tears poured over, more freely and without repentance. The red tears joined with his, and for a second Alma felt as if he could let those tears take over his. With a final ragged _rip_, he let the tears flow more freely. The metallic scent corroded the room, making it dizzy with an amnesiac fog. As the scent ate up the room and the evidence that today even happened grew groggy, Alma's back touched the ground splattered with water and shards.

'What a silly world we live in, huh…?' He giggled, his mind dredging him into the confines of a gravity-free sleep.

And…cut! That's a wrap, people~! Muah ha ha ha…I hope this isn't to disparaging of an ending… this scene just wrote itself~! xP

As always, reviews are appreciated. Uneducated flames will be used to roast Levelier just when he is starting to act less like Hitler…

Nah. Let me rephrase that. For every read without a review, "Aprocrapper" will flash his bald head in the middle of rush-hour traffic. And NOBODY likes high insurance rates, much less a traffic insurance rates go up!


	3. Temperance of Love

Well! Time for round three! Seeing as it's the weekend, I might as well splurge a bit with my time~! ^^ (Darn you, AP tests! I don't need the extra stress, just more interesting classes! :T )

Random trivia: Did you know makeup from the 1800's used poisonous herbs to dilate the eyes for a dreamy look? I knew arsenic was used for a pale powder, but I never knew that. Life can be pretty interesting, huh? ^^

Today was my birthday. But not just ANY birthday. Today was special. Today, even though I

Muddied my clothes,

Got in a fight with Tommy,

Lost Sis's pet hamster,

Got scolded by papa,

_I found my first friend._

For the second time this year, I wanna celebrate.

_She_ was crying.

Invisible tears slid from her sightless, oval eyes, to disappear before they hit the stairway of the palace. She was _**begging**_ Kanda to understand; to feel her sorrow.

He did not understand.

Why the hell was she crying? Did she expect pity out of him? He scoffed with disgust. How stupid and sad.

In a fit of frustration, she tackled him with enough force to send him reeling.

"What is your problem, woman?"

Not content with that, she started socking him on the chest, fizzy energy zig-zagging with turmoil. In her quiet tempestry, Kanda could almost hear invisible grunts with every impact.

_Whack! Whack! _

_Whack!_

Whack!

Tears continued to flow as her figure became increasingly dimmer in the chaos.

Regaining her bearings with a silent _sniff_, she stood up; and, with the most furrowed brow, pointed up the staircase.

"Damn it all…I must be out of my mind." Kanda stood up and rushed back to the stairs: to the only place he knew.

Even before he hit the door, Kanda knew that scent. Blood. Damn, today just wasn't his day, was it? Forcing the door open with Mugen, Kanda saw it:

Blood conglomerated itself on the floor, dying carpet a bottomless scarlet as rivers of red merged with reflective waters in an exodus, splinters of mahogany and sunset-splotched glass forming ethereal warmth. The air had a dizzying, sickeningly sweet haze of acquittal. Ensconced within it all, Alma lay in a cold pallor, bloody scissors lapping up the rose-red from the hand outstretched towards it. Eyes hollowed towards the sky, half-lidded in melancholy of numbing weight.

Falling to his knees, Kanda screamed for twilight's fathomings.

It reminded him of a windmill…up, down, up, down; with each motion, he would fancy he was a part of it, too. The cycling of the white blades transcended all hope: from the dismal black earth they would put all their effort into reaching the heavens for that one second, that one moment of bliss, only to have the failings of humans sink them back into despair; eternally striving to reach that beautiful sky. Like those blades, Alma would sway with them, trying to fly betwixt ecstasy and despair in the endless sky. Just when he thought he could fly this time, his wings ached; feathers cascading apart in a crescendo of white noise.

'We must think of the family first, including you!'

'Even if we hurt you, it wouldn't matter because you're not our son!'

'I'm Kanda. Who are you?'

'Everyone's expecting a boy, not an ugly girl!'

'Didja know? Today I found a pet frog. I'm going to name him…'

'You will never go outside again! You are dead to the world and dead to me!'

'…Why don't you talk to me? Did I do something wrong?'

'Mother and father are just ill…right? They wouldn't forget me…'

'If it means so much to you, why not fight for it…get off me.'

"You idiot! You're leaving a wet spot on my shirt! WAKE UP!"

"Uh?" Alma opened his eyes. He was reclined on Kanda's back, piggy-back style. He blinked, feeling the moisture of tears he never remembered having. "Why would you call me the idiot? I'd rather have just died!"

"Dumbass. It's easier patching up a suicidal brat than carrying a bodybag."

"Damn you!" Alma struggled in the grasp, pounding into Kanda's back and scoring a hit on his head. Royally pissed off, Kanda dropped Alma onto the cobbled street.

"Dumbass! Do you think you can just do these things without consequence? That no one would care? You're not just some tranny-princess that can do whatever the hell he wants!" Kanda looked like he was ready to kill whatever or whoever dared to move next, frustration palpable in the air around him.

Alma was silent: torn between anger, embarrassment, shame, happiness, and most of all, confusion.

"…Why do you care so much…if I'm just a 'brat'?"

"Che. We're wasting time. Either shift yourself or I'll leave you behind."

Alma smiled, softly, like a child's secret. Trying his luck, he said "Kanda, won't you carry me? If you don't I might reopen my wounds and bleed to death. You said before you wouldn't want to carry a bodybag."

Kanda froze, stuck in inner turmoil at the situation, angry twitches visible from his figure. Alma could almost visualize steam rising from his ears and head with angry, whirring sounds emanating from his direction. Slowly, with enough control despite his anger, he turned his head, with all the finesse of a possessed doll, said

"Sure, Alma…hop right on."

Alma beamed, wrapping his arms around Kanda's neck, lightly jumping to connect his legs with the other's hips. The other "Urk"-ed at the slight strangling motion, catching the other's legs with his arms. Alma bit his lips, restraining a slight giggle.

"Oy, brat, if you strangle me again, you can go die on the side of the road. Urg, you're so heavy…"

"Hey! How do you think I feel wearing all these underskirts and corsets and bodices every day?" Alma said, feigning dejection. He laughed openly, wind caressing their faces in such a typical teenage scenario.

Aaand that's a wrap! I hope this clears some stuff up…I know it must have seemed OOC when Alma suddenly started cutting himself…or maybe it just made it more confusing...Muah hah hah hah hah~ It's so much fun messing with perceptions~! I'll probably get around to making another chapter today, which I will revise on Sunday, if I am not having a nervous breakdown from the workload. D: I have already drafted parts of the story, so it's a matter of stringing them together in a meaningful way…

Urggggg…my stupid bronchitis is acting up…how the hell can a medieval disease still exist in present day? Sure, it's a poetic way to die…but really? :T Next they'll be digging up my relatives and grinding their hearts up and forcing me to drink it…. :T (Long story…look up the history on vampires)

Quick! To the bat-tub, Robin! It's time to unwind from the week~!

Edit: Yes, I am an idiot. I figured out how to edit stories/chapters visually from the difference between this website and Microsoft Word. Time for some cleaning up~!


	4. Isolation of the Two, Harmony of Love

Welcome again, my wonderful readers. ^^ I thank you all for continuing with me on this journey, and hope you enjoy where this is going. It would seem that I have come around to finally getting to this chapter, after such a long delay. My apologies. My mind's been gone with all that's been happening and is to happen.

Toward the end, I fashioned part of the night (after the dream) after the song "Walking in the Air" by Howard Blake. It is such a fantastical song, and one that always reminds me of my childhood through hopeful eyes. Even as a young adult, it always reminds me to keep dreaming.

I remember the first day I met you.

Feathers were weighed down from the sky. The sunrise was blood red that day, and your eyes were impregnated with the dissipating heavens.

My lost guardian.

The days traveled onward like a pendulum's swings, yielding to the nights that drifted up to the heavens like a burnt sacrifice to God. As far as the days reached, a type of unsteady peace grew; one of desire to appease perceived grievances, and one for the rhythmic expectancies formed between the two, just barely breached by longing. Like the blood of the lamb before the appeasement, days could neither go by quickly or slowly enough.

Amongst the nights that yielded to the mornings, scars ached; patched reminders of isolation that tries to rip through the seams of the present from the dredges of the past.

They walked. Though Kanda had given up on carrying Alma any further, both could still feel each definitive step in the other's agenda and the separate peace between both, only merged by the steps both walked in sync.

Scars ached with each step taken, the simple effort of moving threatening whatever tenuous control the self had with the outside world.

Like a prisoner to be drowned with a stone lashed around his neck, Alma dreaded each step, wanting to cry out for each memory quivering to the executioner's footsteps that he mimicked. He knew the end will come soon.

Villages met open air, mountains in the distance connecting to the next province. Wordlessly, Alma felt the condemning words he provided for the latter, tearing off the airy wings of his temperament to crash into condemning reality.

"...Brat. We're here."

Alma pressed his head down, nails gushing blood from his palms, stubborn legs locked in place.

'Of course he likes me. We're only the prettiest couple!'

Scars stretched skin, hard welts straining pliable skin.

"Liar…"

'Everyone expects a boy! Not some ugly girl!'

'I found a frog today. He's my second friend, after you!'

Scars ached, skin smashing as bloody tears escaped into the world.

"…Liar! Liar! LIAR!" He screamed, tears and a fist wanting to break loose. "Fine! If I am my own person now, then you can't stop me from following you!" He grabbed Kanda's hand, blood marking the other's shirt and pigmenting skin.

Alma continued leading, not stopping until an inn was visible on the outskirts of town.

"There! We're staying there! Get out the money the king gave you, and pay for it!" Alma huffed, breaths rugged from his breakneck pace of marching and pulling the annoyed Kanda.

"Che. Who said I would pay for anyone but myself?" Kanda said, aggravated.

Alma ran to the door, grinding on his heels and saying "Me, that's who!" He waved Kanda's bribery money in his right hand.

'Damn!' Kanda checked where it was supposed to be. He seethed with rage, angry some cross-dresser outwitted him and forced him into staying the night with him at a hotel. "Teme yaro...!" he snarled.

Alma laughed, rushing into the building so the constable could be called, just in case.

Kanda was fine for the first couple hours. Really, he would have stayed outside for the whole night, if it wasn't for the rainclouds that blackened the night sky. With a quiet sigh, he resigned himself to his fate. No, he wasn't going to cry 'uncle' yet. Not by a long shot. He conspired possible ways to get back the younger, an evil smirk curling at the corners of his lips. As he neared the door the manager told him the brat purchased, he opened the door. The full moon spread its silken fabric over the room: a chiaroscuro just barely giving dimension to the room. He smoothed off his shirt, falling into the covers as a cascade of rain hit the roof like a children's game of marbles, laughter booming every so often.

The summer air stuck to his skin, a sweet smoothness like ice cream stuck to his lips, tongue colliding in gentle resistance. He opened his eyes, drinking up the warm summer with the scent of sunflowers. She turned his face up towards him in a smile radiant from the sun. "Maybe I'm the lucky one." She said, amber eyes matching her straw hat laden with sunflowers. "I don't think I could bear my life without you, and now that you're here, I lack nothing," her eyelashes hid her eyes, hand going over her abdomen in fairy kisses of expectation. Overflowing with happiness, she kissed him, toppling him over into the dusty field woven with sunflowers.

"I shall be yours forever, -." She passionately whispered between kisses. He smoothed his hands over her heart-shaped face, perfectly molded to his hands. "I am happy you are mine, -." He said, eyes reflecting only her in their depths as she ran her fingers through his hair...

"Eat them!" She smashed his head to the countertop, trying to force one of the poisoned pasteries into his mouth. He closed his eyes, trying not to provoke her, and opening his mouth just enough to leave smears of icing on his lips, trying to pacify her enough to leave him alone. He cracked open an eye, for a second. Isolation. Confusion. Wrong. Unlovable.

Bad move.

Her eyes became sad for a moment, flickering to anger at her in his eyes. She grabbed a razor off the table, slashing-

"Everyone left mommy! Even papa had to leave! Don't you ever leave me! Only you can make me happy! If you ever tell, then our family will be broken! I will never let you leave!" His life stained her hand and blade, amalgamating with her blood in the ritual. It was blood to never propagate, left to die by stagnant denial…

Kanda shot up in bed, blood screaming for acknowledgment, lashed by the restraining earth. He nearly ripped his arm from the impediment, but let out a breath. Long, mousy arms wound around his arm; finding comfort despite the harshness. Breaths like birds' wings wrapped around the room, rhythmic and calming to Kanda's unsettled blood. The warmth of those little puffs encompassed him like a mother's arms as she reads to her infant, rocking him to sleep in her soft lap as the foggy light dissipates like the end of a wonderful dream.

How was this week's chapter? The end reminded me of my old house; we had a metallic overhead desklamp, and I remember falling asleep in a chair to the scrapings of woodworking tools my grandpa was working with, the mistiness of the light settling on my eyes. I was about seven, and still expecting my parents to 'reconcile' - not that I ever knew how parents are supposed to act towards each other...

By the way, on my studies, I found that child abuse is estimated at about thirty-five percent of children today in America, which extends to repeated mental abuse and physical abuse as a "container" of anger that "binds" the family together as a way to get rid of stress and anger. Similarly, such practices extend to incest as a form of sexual frustration some parents exhibit towards their spouse.

URG! I need to stop dawdling! Well, this will have to be enough for a while. I have an AP Government test to study for, yay procrastination!


	5. Forever the Memories, Forever my Love

Yo~! Great to see you all again~!

It seems like a slow afternoon has led me to the computer and to a word document again~! I hope to see you all in good spirits~! It turns out the cough I've had (and mentioned in previous chapters) is actually asthma, which is a precursor to my hereditary Chronic Bronchitis, so I can only be thankful I'm not going into sports as a career. ^^U If I cough up a lung, then please carry on my nonexistent legacy~ xP Just kidding. (Well, we're all terminal here, so I guess I can laugh about it…?)

Something funny happened in church recently: an adult (thirty-one, no less!) was replying back to a comment I made, saying "Are you studying for your SAT's again? Your words are so hard!" Eh heh heh…I can only imagine how hard it must be for the majority of my readers! Sorry! ^^U I hope going onto doesn't detract too much from the story! ^^U

Song #1!- "Dreaming in Metaphors" by Seal

Song #2!- "Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel

I remember our first "kiss." I was sulking under the bed, hidden from the agitated memories that were ravenously unyielding. As the door opened, I held my breath and curled up, hoping that would make me blend in with the shadows I ran to. And yet, when I bitterly turned to face the direction you would have found me in, I couldn't see you. It was only when I looked back at the sound of the family's picture falling that you kissed me. I was so frustrated, I threw my toy cars at you.

_Who does that make the child?_

Kanda woke up as the sun rose, his headache and habit waking him out of his feverish night. The warm clouds were just beginning to peek out from the dark night, and the sun would be visible soon. That reminded him of another child…He turned his head, checking for Alma's presence. He still hung on his arm.

'Damn it…we need to get going.' He had to keep going to keep his sanity intact. The memory of time was caustic in the fortress of his mind; a caricature of love wrapped in pretences of raptured inheritance. He would never look back at it, but it still managed to shriek cajolingly at him in its validation, and consume him in every decision that related itself to it…

"Oy, kid, does my arm look like a teddy bear? Get off!" He unceremoniously ripped his arm back into his possession.

"Ugh…?" Alma's eyes fluttered open, landing on…Kanda…shirtless.

"Eeeeeek! What are you doing in my room?" Alma's voice jumped, and he grabbed the sheets to hide his underclothes and a red stain along his nose.

"Che! I wouldn't have come in this fucking room if it didn't rain last night!" He turned away, hiding an anger popped vein; he resorted to dressing quickly to leave the situation. He closed the door in due haste, leaving Alma to his soft thoughts.

Alma emerged after a while, dressed and ready with all their belongings.

"C'mon, You!" He said, cheerfully stepping along the dirt path.

"Damn it! Who said you could call me that?"

Alma gave a toothy grin. "So, that's your name, huh~?"

"No!" Kanda stomped along, fist ready for any hapless victim.

"Eh heh! You know, in some cultures, to know someone's name is to have possession of their existence~? Is that why you never say my name?" He chanted, teasingly.

"Damn it…you are really starting to piss me off!" Kanda brandished Mugen, raising it near the other's voicebox.

Alma backed away, glad for the response, but afraid for his well being. Once more, perhaps? "You know, I took all your money and necessities, so you won't be able to tromp off into the forest like a hermit until I give it back to you~!"

"Teme YARO!" Kanda boomed, chasing after the smiling younger.

Someone needed to be made into a pincushion…

"Hey, Yuu, do you ever miss your old life?" They both sat in the edge of a water fountain in the center of town, steam rising in the heat of summer.

"No." He sat with his fingers enfolded within themselves.

"Some things I don't miss. Like staying in that prison called my room. Or being told to others I died…" he paused, fairy fingers enwrapping his bare feet, "…but other things, like the scent of mother's perfume when I was ailing, make me want to run back to her; even though I was always dead in her mind. Even if she hates me, I would always want to go back to her." He submersed his feet in the water. His fingers went over the rough scars on his arms, ghostly fingers tracing them to the source.

"Che. Martyrs are for weak fools." His nails bit into his fisted palms. "I didn't ask for your life story."

"Even if she didn't want me, I would patiently wait for the end of my existence, if only I could see her smile as she ended my life."

"Baka! Listen to yourself! You would rather let yourself die just to make a bitch happy than yell at them for forgetting you? How would that make them love you anymore?"

"Maybe they wouldn't love me more, but at least I wouldn't have made them miserable!" Alma shouted, arms pressed to his sides. All around them, the world was silent - a scorching separateness.

'_Momma… am I bad child…?'_ Words were met with the flowerless family vase being exploding around him.

"…Even if you did die, the anger would never subside. All that would be left is bitterness and anger towards someone else until everything is gone.

"…It's your duty to live, and to prove to them that they cannot go around fucking with others because they cannot deal with their problems." Kanda was still as stone. Neither could he face Alma, nor put on his usual stern face.

Alma nodded, nose sniffling, not daring to look Kanda in the face.

"…I'll be right back." Alma scurried off, leaving Kanda to his thoughts. He repositioned himself on the fountain's rim, never realizing he stood in the first place. His mind wandered, and he vaguely thought of Her. He grimaced, supplying the face he thought she'd make for him, always in that enigmatic melancholy.

Cool, slippery stones insulated the temple, incense heavy in the air. He felt weighed by garments, stiff to the touch. Everything had to be just right. Another step, accompanied by the clarity of crystalline bells. Again. Again. An invisible gouge in the chest. The weight of unseen eyes was there, making every joint stiff with claustrophobia. They had forfeited _their_ best goods; all the best to _it_. They were going to sacrifice an "innocent." To preserve the future. Soul scraped along the somber room, feeling every nick and gouge, every smooth, clear cut object; absconding from the rhythmic feet to preservation. It felt the roughness of the cliff, and the smoothness of the temple stones, upon which other children were the foundation,_ and_ _parents had given their best_…

"Yuu! I brought snacks!" Alma rushed back, a basket of cookies and fruit weighing down both arms. He proffered the basket to the dazed Kanda. Kanda took an orange, a stupefied look viewed from his face. Alma took the money pouch with his free hand and slipped it under his petticoats, tying it to a garter.

"So that's where you hid my money, huh?" Kanda growled like a hound from Hell.

"Eep! Don't look at a woman's legs! YOU PERVERT!" Alma flipped the fabric over his legs, layering it with his fingers. "Next you'll be touching my legs! Help, help~!" Alma feigned assault, smirking eyes reaching Kanda's. He won this round, and Kanda knew it. He was about to skip off with his treats, but his head jerked back. His eyes met Yuu's, who grabbed his hair.

Oops. He had an oversight.

Kanda's eyes glinted with all the vigor of a tiger's, teeth bared in a maniacal smile.

"Come again?" his breath rushed out, fiery to the growl.

"Eeep!" Alma tried to scurry away, bunny tears fleeing because he couldn't. "Sorry! Sorry!" Even with those words, he only persisted with his feet.

"Dumbass. You buy food with my money when we recently ate and then question my honor as a man. One of these days I will kill you." His nails bit into Alma's hair, only succeeding in staining his already abused hand. With a yank of Alma's hair, Kanda started stomping away, not minding the younger fell on the ground. Damn child only reminded him of his fucking past, and it made him livid with rage.

"Ouuuch.." Alma exhaled, unpinning his legs and quickly trying to catch up with the other.

"Stop being such a damn naïve child! Do you think people will like you more if you put on a sickeningly cute act?"

"Even if people dislike me, at least it's better than feeling nothing. I'd rather be dead than not exist in everyone's eyes!"

Yet again, they reached an impasse. Neither wanted to relent to their pain, and neither would deny their lives as they had lived it.

Kanda remembered that snowy night when they first met. It's not like he wanted to be reminded, but it's not like he could just ignore it, either. Like the running of the morning sun, their pain only seemed to transgress through the day, getting louder in its quiet violence.

"Maybe, we should part ways…" Alma softly sniffed. He bent down, lifting his petticoats to the hidden money. He untied it, handing it to the still other. "Here, this is what you want, right? I am sorry I was such a trouble…"

Kanda clasped the money, leaving without his characteristic retort.

Alma clenched his teeth, tears threatening to break loose. The orange in his palm dug in his nails, the pulp squeezing through his fingers. He felt like he was being constricted by his held tears.

In a fit of rage, Alma threw the orange at Kanda's back.

"Damn it, Kanda! Do you really think it's okay just to leave? After all the heartache we've been through?" He paused, emotions making him sick with worry and anger. He whispered, almost inaudible to the other, "Ever since we were little…and even more so when you told me to live for my own happiness rather than die for another's…you've always looked out for me. Don't think I can't look after you, too…I love you." He could stand it anymore and started crying, even though he knew Yuu didn't like it. He grabbed onto Kanda's arm. "I don't care where you're going… all I want is to stay with you, and to keep this shared happiness! That's more than either of our families have wanted!" He quieted, unable to say more from his crying's shuddery gasps that broke the day.

"Alma, how do you know that…?" Kanda stilled, looking into the other's dusty red face, raised in passion and frustration. Alma simply grabbed onto Yuu's shirt, burying his crying face into the softening chest.

They stayed like that for a while; Kanda watching the sun's dying rays on Alma's hair and the other slowly stopped crying. Encompassed in each other, their souls made perfect reflections of each other; circling each other, completing the other. Trust with skepticism, selfishness with selflessness, and happiness with unhappiness. Neither fully understood where one ended and the other began, but that was the mystery of competition that only Gods achieved and understood. There, in that one moment of embracing, time ran through the day and stopped all outward existence.

So, how was it~? At first I had a bit of writer's block, so I was kind of slow on updating. ^^U Sorry. This chapter surprised me as I wrote the second fight (I was like Noooooooo! Behave, Kanda! Don't go picking fights with Alma! D': ), but I like how it turned out. In my opinion, Alma is a very strong character, and I was glad to be able to write his retort because I always have been waiting for him to start slapping Kanda around for his isolationist attitude. So, it makes me glad. Thank you for behaving, Alma, Kanda~! ^^

Oooh, I can feel it in my bones~! The lemon is coming up in the next chapter~! I won't let you down, faithful readers~! Until then, have a happy summer break~! Don't run the mile getting chased by the po-po! *inside joke- don't worry about not getting it* xP


	6. Together, Complete

Yay~! A *not* fast update (yeah, I write these early, but I always take forever editing and revising. Sorry! ^^U)~! I think this chapter is the most slap-stick one that I have put out for the entire story…O.o Odd how that happened…

Now for the main reason (I assume) people decided to read this story- the Pr0nz chapter! xD

But for now, a little bit of plot development/catalyst action.

Songs for this chappy: "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne

"Black Balloon" by Goo Goo Dolls

We dreamt of each other last night.

In the warmth of a house we called our own, I acted my part with a longing for yours; and you played your part complementing mine. In the symphony of symbiosis, neither of us acknowledged selfishness without the other; and neither smiled without the other.

In our Convergence of Twain, we realized the infidelity of our uncertainty not as a token of wisdom, but as a devil of doubt.

If I could have you - forever a guest in my dreams - I would find a new waking in our prison and a truth in our theatre.

It was a runny day, Alma supposed. The type of day that seemed like runny syrup on top of Sunday's breakfast. Every time he would blink, he would hallucinate the pitter-patter of tiny feet on redwood-varnished floors; the effervescent giggles and breakfast wafting from the kitchen below the floorboards, and toddlers exuding summer from their clothesline smocks.

As runny as the months that have passed to now, with all the sour and sweet between them.

Butterflies floated in the sunlight, unbothered by the warmer-than-usual temperature. Like angels, he supposed, butterflies carry through the harshest days, and still have enough lightness for another's bad day…like angels, they are ambiguous but manage perfection in another's forgotten reminiscence...like a cold, snowy night that only beckoned the end: like the harkening of Spring in a world of Winter…

Alma snapped the book he was reading closed.

"Okay! I've decided!"

With a flourish to the kitchen, Alma determined he would make the best damn lunch ever…

To be frank, Kanda was speechless.

After his usual meditation time/testosterone time/time away from Alma, he expected Alma to be reading on the inn's beds, or off playing in a fjord. Typical Alma stuff. Instead, he rushes to their layaway after seeing _"Holy-Shit-It's-A-Huge-Fire!"_ smoke in the general direction of the inn they were at; which was – _indeed_ - from the inn they were staying at. Nope. That wasn't only it. He found Alma hurriedly pouring water on a – _literally_- cremated salad in a _"God-Damn-it's-Femmy!"_ apron with pink hearts on it. This prompted a serious personal question:

"_What the hell is wrong with my life?"_

Luckily, they managed to stop the fire before the whole building went up in embers ("Hey! I've been stuck in my room for years! It's not my fault I took 'hot salad' literally!") and they had to pay for a whole inn instead of a room. Adding insult to injury, Alma forced Kanda out of the newly charbroiled room ("Don't come back for another hour!") and left him to the mercy of the angry manager…

_All demeaning humor aside…_

Alma rushed to get everything back together from its – well – "toastiness." It was going to be stretch, but this was the only way he could find someone to cook for him on such short notice with a pilfered budget…

After everything was set up, Alma went out in search of Kanda…

After seeing the horror Alma wreaked on the inn and the manager's conscience, Kanda went back to his mediation spot all too willingly. He should have punched that manager when he had the chance. 'But that brat hates moving; even though he's just stalking me by choice. The manager would have kicked us out for sure if I did give him what he deserved.' He sat down, steeling himself under the foliage. As much as he wanted to smack Alma upside the head, he knew he would only do it regrettably. That's the last thing he needed…

The sun fizzed above the cracked earth, light practically shaping itself into the desires of the human mind. It was warm, not just hot, but almost embracing. No, that's not quite right. He opened his eyes. Of course. It was Her.

She was anxious, he could tell. She wrung her hands, almost like she was washing her hands of something. Every fiber of his being was capturing that frustrated anxiety, magnifying it a thousand fold under the condemnatory sun. Quickly, she latched onto his arm, yanking him near her maddened eyes.

She wanted him to_ run. _The cradle was rocking dangerously fast; a tempest of incomplete desire…

Her dilated eyes stabbed his for a second, her warm life asphyxiating her lungs and spilling on Kanda's trapped arm as her eyes exalted the sky…

"Kanda!"

He jumped, cursing aloud at the intrusion.

"Kanda, are you okay? You look pale." Alma rested his hand on the other's forehead, checking for some sort of fever. "We should go back. Sunstroke is really easy to catch on a day like this."

Kanda's veiled eyes were searching beyond what he saw; mind grasping at some validity beyond the heat. Nothing remained, not even the blood that laid on him…

When they reached the room they were staying in, Kanda found himself silently admitting the room looked pretty good…despite the fire an hour ago…

Petite sandwiches were laid out with table grapes and soba accompanying them, with a rustic strawberry-blueberry pie for dessert, whipping cream at the ready. Glasses were set out, with summer wine at both place settings in raised glasses. Last, but certainly not least, watermelon stood ready to be cut for the summer siesta. The lightly pulled curtains cast the perfect balance between cool air and bright light, and the room had a faint scent of roses. The rustling of petticoats made Kanda's head turn, and he found Alma in a long-sleeved mint dress, violet and pink flowers framing his hair and skirt. With every firm step, his being was validated beyond fairy tale, but a transient beauty that was unfitting of the scene. With a goblin-like smile, the hostess ushered Yuu to a seat, taking his seat after him.

"What is all this about?"

"Hm? Oh, just a little thank-you. I never got to thank you for that night we first met. I figured you would want lunch ready when you got back," his voice litted, swinging cheerfully with those words.

"You mean by nearly burning the hotel down?"

"No~" Alma was positively radiant, like he was playing "Twenty Questions." Kanda balked, getting nowhere with the odd child. Alma picked up the wine glass, swirling it near his lips, staring intently into Yuu's – like a nervous dare.

Che. He could take anything the other could dish out and top it. Kanda practically threw the soba into his mouth and took a swig of the wine. The other threw down a petite sandwich of his own, his laughing eyes reaching for seconds. "Ready for dessert, Kanda~?"

Now he was just fucking with him. He stood to take the pie for himself, and was surprised when he felt the cold floor beneath him before he blacked out…

_Oops~! Forgot about__** that**__ demeaning humor~!_

Kanda woke up with a head that felt like sandpaper. Even though he withheld his breathing, his mind continued to hurt. Exhaling, he made a promise to never drink again. Damn drinks were always too intoxicating. Che, might as well get some soba for his hangover. He moved to sit up from his bed, but slinky ropes tied down his arms to the bedpost. Damn it, this was his bed, wasn't it? What's he doing tied up? He moved to break them, but found Alma's voice in his chaos.

"Yuu-kun~" He softly sighed. Kanda turned to look at him – he was in the doorway, his outline colored shades of the sunset in the dark house. Fireflies were beginning to flicker throughout the night, and the hearth of the inn melded sparks in the air; the perfect balance of desire and family, reminiscent of a heated trance from when Kanda first met Alma. Somehow…he felt anxious and agitated, but…it was almost expected, like the past and future collided, scraping away at the present in a script of expectancy and a song of completeness…

"Baka! Get these ropes off me already!"

"I wanted to repay you for all that you have done for me~" Gossamer material shone through the warm sunset, and softly lathered Kanda's skin from the mesh. In a few melded sways, Alma crossed the distance between the two.

"What the hell? Untie me, brat!" He struggled with the bonds, mind still pleasantly hazy.

"No!" Alma tensed, gathering his mettle, "You always look out for me, even when you don't mean to. I refuse to be outdone by you." In a second, Alma's personality switched back to what it was previously. His eyes were dreamy, half-lidded moons, and his lips were burgundy waves quivering with his body; cool fingers traced the inside of Kanda's tied legs, teasingly close to Kanda's clothed member. Yuu gasped, losing his words with his mind. Alma kissed the bound Yuu on the lips, his tongue leaving hints of mint on the other's lips. While the other was distracted, Alma unbuckled and took off Yuu's pants and boxers, getting them off after a bit of yanking. Breathlessly, Alma said "don't look away…" Alma slowly wove his hips through the air. Spindely fingers slid and flicked over the sheer material that made up his belly dancing costume, moving along his nipples and dipping into his belly button, thumb brushing over his hidden hardness, winking at Yuu vixenly. His belly crinkled and undulated with every sway, rolling like ocean water. Dipping his hips lower, he "accidentally" slid the gossamer material over Kanda's dick, causing the other to growl. He placed each arm to the side of the tied warrior, exhaling jumpy, cool breaths. He engulfed Yuu's shirt button in his mouth. With a strong snap, the first button was gone. He let it slide from his glistening lips to the bed.

Clink

Clink

Clink.

Alma's warm tongue caressed Kanda's exposed pects, reaching down to his shaft as Kanda squirmed at his bindings.

"Not yet, dear…soon."

They kissed again, Alma tilting his head into the kiss to force Yuu's mouth open. Kanda's tongue fought with the other's, heated breaths exchanged between them as Alma's fingers pulled the other impossibly closer. After Yuu's tongue dominated Alma's they broke for air, a string of saliva connecting the two.

His mouth touched Yuu's neck, engulfing it and sucking on it; letting his teeth graze tender flesh. Fingers smoothed over Kanda's hard nipple, circling it. Two of Alma's fingers slid over Kanda's member, stopping at the tip. "Oh, so you ARE hard~" A coy little smile graced the younger's nervous face. Huskily, Alma whispered in Kanda's ear

"Beg me."

"Damn it, brat, stop fucking with me!" Kanda gave another forceful yank from the bindings.

"Heh heh~ I have no intention of stopping~"

Alma sucked on his fingers with a light moan, sliding it over his bottom lip. He whispered in his ear "Just say that one little word and everything will get better." His wet fingers slid to Kanda's tip, teasing the head in slow circles.

"Da-damn it…" Kanda gasped, arms yanking in a desperate effort not to give in. "Ha-Alma…"

"Yes~?"

"Hah…hah…fuck…me."

The other wasted no time, engulfing the other in his hot mouth and slippery tongue. He stroked the underside, watching Kanda squirm as his eyes would squeeze shut. Up to the base, and down to the tip, up, down, up, down… Smiling mischievously, Alma flicked the head with his tongue. "Haah!" Kanda's eyes opened, and Alma thought he saw neediness in those eyes, hidden by frustrated lust. Kanda yanked again at those ropes feeling his end near, struggling to hold Alma's head in place with just his legs. But Alma stopped, causing Kanda to growl. The younger raised his head, nibbling the top before he heavily whispered "Make sure the fingers are nice and wet, Yuu." Alma's thumb smoothed over Kanda's lips as Kanda yanked at his restraints…

…and broke the rope, accidentally head-butting Alma and knocking him back on the bed.

As Alma's eyes focused back, he found Yuu over him.

"Damn brat. First you chose the wrong person to bottom, then you give me an erection you do nothing about." His fingers reached to the other's outfit, ripping the gossamer material until an opaque thigh was seen. "'Make sure the fingers are nice and wet,' Alma." Kanda smirked, forcing his fingers into the other's mouth. Alma whimpered behind the fingers, licking them mopefully.

Kanda bit Alma's neck, watching the other squirm as his other hand grabbed the younger's hands. His tongue smoothed over the neck apologetically, only long enough to clear away some of the salty blood. He scrutinized his work. A beautiful purple and red crest. "Now everyone will know you are mine." Yuu removed his fingers, smirking devilishly. He trailed a cold, wet finger between the other's balls, and Alma mewled at the merciless teasing.

"'Beg me.'" Kanda snickered, massaging the helpless erection. Alma moaned into the massage, unable to voice his need and wanting to come so badly.

"Kand..aagh!" He squirmed under the sensitive spot, hands trying to wrench free, face flushed. "Please…uagh…I'm…uagh!"

"Come on, you can do better than that." Kanda's hands grabbed Alma's tip, fingering the urethra. Alma shrieked, tears threatening to spill, Kanda's fingernail penetrating something not meant to be stretched. "Shhh…we wouldn't want that manager to hear, now would we~?" He cackled as Alma blushed. "Uaghh..fuck me, Yuu!"

A smile curled around Kanda's face. "Lucky for you, two of my fingers are still wet." He plunged them into Alma, scissoring before he could adjust. He sloppily kissed the younger one, getting ready to plunge the third finger in. "Ready for the third?" He thrust in, not waiting for the response.

"Yuu!" Alma moaned, his eyes closing, tears spilling over. Fingers nudged in him, and Alma found himself shrieking Kanda's name again as his sweet spot was hit.

"Time for the real fun." He kissed the petite one, positioning himself at Alma's entrance and thrusting before he noticed.

"Kanda!" Alma cried, feeling the seal on his life broken by the one most dear to him, a blood offering to his most cherished and to the heavens.

'_In this precious moment, "Alma" has burned away…'_

He felt Kanda move in him, and he shifted; the pain intolerable, Kanda moved, hitting that bundle of pleasure that both made them moan. Over and over, Kanda hit that one spot that made them both breathless, gasping for more as they came close to the edge. Alma wound his hands in the other's hair, bringing their tongues close as they fought for dominance. Yuu gabbed the other's member, roughly yanking it.

"Come for me, Alma." He thrusted one last time at his prostrate, and Alma moaned seeing white. Kanda thrusted a few more times before he came, spilling himself in Alma as he collapsed on the bed.

'…_In this sacred moment, we are reborn as part of each other.'_

Alma felt Yuu's semen dripping out of him, and for a second, he wished it could stay a part of him, forever.

Kanda started kissing the other's bare arms. "You shouldn't do this to yourself." Alma looked at what he was talking about. Oh. The new scars. The fabric must have been torn when they had sex. He laughed. "You're such a hypocrite, Yuu…even though you hate it when I hurt myself, that moment we were both ensconced with passion, that blood I shed was ours… it has always been. Same as those arms."

Kanda snorted, not believing him. Alma quickly changed the subject. "Well, all the food set out isn't going to eat itself. How about we finish lunch?"

"You mean the by-now-stale soba?" He and Alma threw on bathrobes and Alma dragged the other to the table. "Oh! Yes! The watermelon! C'mon, that must still be good!" The smaller one grabbed the knife, but found other hands guiding his. "Brat…Alma…knifes are for cutting food. Nothing else."

"You really do care, don't you?"

Kanda's face screwed up in agitation. "No!" He let go of the knife, picking up what was left of the summer wine.

"I wouldn't do that, I put in ruffies."

Right. How could he not know that? Yuu's face knotted even more. "Che. And how would a virgin like you know about that stuff?"

Alma's face reddened. "Someone named Lavi helped me…he said you two were somewhat like friends when you were younger."

"Che. As if. He was a stalker, like you. Like hell we were friends."

"Nothing's impossible~."

"I take it back, knifes aren't just for food."

Alma laughed, carefree. He handed a slice of watermelon to his newfound lover.

"I've been thinking, Yuu, can we…possibly…settle in this town…in a house of our own…?" He flustered, hurriedly rambling. "I mean, we're nowhere near my parent's kingdom, and you know some of the occupants!"

"No, I…" He shook his head, "We… must keep moving. Especially in a place like this."

Alma quieted, thoughtfully. "It's your past, isn't it? If you don't want to say anything about it, that's fine." He paused, forming his next words. "They died recently. It was a coup d'état. The oppressed couldn't stand the oppressors." Alma's nails nervously smoothed Kanda's wrist. "In those eyes I saw your past reflected, and I lost you in it. If you can throw away your past, then we can live with together in the present and future. Just…please…don't leave me behind like they did."

Kanda sighed, massaging his headache. "Let me think about it…"

Alma beamed at him, radiant in the stormy atmosphere.

"For now, let's just get some sleep."

Yay~! I feel particularly accomplished with this chapter. *feels heated glares* Sorry about such the long update time ^^U. Well! Considering I had to write the ending of this story before I could write this chapter, don't expect it to last any longer than 4 chapters at most (or not end at all- I put in too much time to see this story not finish!). Soon you will find out why I chose "A Kiss to Remember" as the title~! The climax is approaching~! xD

Oh, yes. This is my first complete lemon. I hope it wasn't too obvious? *sweating bullets* Anyway, have a great Independence Day weekend all my friends in America, and assembled other weekend holidays for my international friends~! xD

BTW, have any of you heard the song "Cherry Lips" by Garbage? After, like a year of listening to it I just realized it's talking about cross-dressing. *facepalm* But yeah, that music video is twistedly AWESOME!


	7. With you, I'd be

'Sup~! Back, with another chapter completed~! A lot happens in this chapter, with finally some explanation that will go off like a ticking time bomb next chapter~! xD

Oh. Yes. I personally dislike OCs (Sorry for all of you who pour your heart and souls out just for that one special character; this author's a bit of a hypocrite.) So, don't expect these pronoun-only characters to really be special. They are simply ambiguous characters to get the story going and show the personalities of Kanda and Alma and how they gravitate/ repel each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Under the Bridge"- Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Too Many Walls" – Cathy Dennis

* * *

><p>Even monsters once knew the aching of a heart. Between the accusers and the accused's diatribe, all stand as mindful hypocrites; scrutinized in a madness called supposition and propriety.<br>_Madness, be not vain...the guillotine makes for poor, one-sided conversations of three...  
><em>

It was early. Earlier than usual. Kanda sat at the table, fingernails digging into his hair, a cup of tea his only company on such a long night. He was such a damn fool. Telling Alma that I would even consider settling down just because I got lucky. Che. 'Lucky'? He had sex **with a guy**. How the hell could that be lucky? He snorted.

The damn brat looked so happy last night.

They both must have been fucked up in the head last night. Alma wanted a home with him.

Like a married couple.

Damn. He must be royally screwed to be in this situation.  
>No, wait...that brat is royalty, technically, besides him being 'dead' to everyone, the knowledgeable dead themselves.<p>

Kanda sighed again, headache like a bunch of pelting rocks.

This was his hometown. As much as he thought no one remembered him, the Usagi took the word of an overly-friendly stranger - enough to help him out on the perfect date-rape.

**NO.** He was not going to go there. He was no defenseless - ugh - chick - and the brat was no bodybuilding jock.

Well, shit. Either way this can't be happening. The damn brat was emotionally needy and he hated liabilities.

But what could he do? Could he just walk through the door like nothing happened and deal with the consequences? Could he just tell him off and walk out without anything happening? Already, he could see the other's teary face and the red rivulets on the other's arms and legs.

Well, fuck. Was he supposed to just take everything with a 'Yes, my One and Only True Love.' or 'How about a footstool in the parlor, Dear'? The elder let out a sigh. Next he'll be saying things like 'If you get in the bathtub, I'll undress for you and play with your rubber duck~.' His hand reached to cover his mouth, almost throwing up.

His headache was only getting worse...

"Well, how about the two-story house on the edge of town! It's abandoned, so we could move in!" Alma positively ran circles around the other, looking for small signs of jubilance in the other. "Maybe, it'll overlook the river! That would be so lovely, wouldn't it? We could have pick-nicks in the summer, and skate on it in the winter! That way..."

Kanda grimaced. Damn it, what was wrong with him? Why was he enduring this when he could get this over with? Damn, how long would he keep stringing himself and Alma along as if he cared!

_"...Yuu, do you hate this...?"_

"Who ever said you could call me that?"

"Ever since last night...I really thought you loved me..."

"Why does it matter so much to you? You women always think sex means love! That night was nothing but a one night stand!" There. He said it. Now Alma would cry, and leave him.

Why did his chest hurt so much...?

"Damn it, Kanda! You're such a fucking knuckle head! IT MATTERS TO ME BECAUSE THIS WASN'T HOW YOU ACTED TOWARDS ME BEFORE!"

"That's all that was - an act! To a selfish, immature wannabe woman who doesn't leave me alone!"

"Damnit! Not now, Kanda! You think you can walk out of this like the rest of your life! Not now, not ever!" Alma paused, a tantrum threatening exasperation. "…And damn if I have to knock you senseless and tie you up to show you what you really mean to me."

Kanda snickered. "Che. Fine."

In a second, Kanda's arm was in motion as he threw a right hook at the other's head. Alma had only seconds to jump back diagonally, regrouping with a charge and ready with a punch to hit his target. Kanda slid to the side, using his hand to shove the other off in another direction, landing a kick on the other's backside. Alma growled, throwing a direct punch that was engulfed in the other's hand. Karma regrouped with another punch at the hapless swordsman who could only block it. "Teme!" Kanda moved to throw the ensnared younger like a shot-put as the other furiously kicked at Kanda's abs. Just before he was about to be thrown, Alma aimed a kick between the other's legs, throwing him loose and felling the thrower. Kanda doubled over in pain as Alma rolled in the dirt on impact.

"Damn it, brat, fight like a man!"

Said person lumbered to a crouched position. "Hardy har har! Some words from a guy whose hair's like a woman's!" He charged at the doubled Kanda, knocking him down fully as he grabbed his hands and forced him to look into his eyes, kissing him roughly. After a second, they parted lips.

"Damn it Kanda! Not now! You say I'm so bothersome, but that doesn't make you Saint Agatha! Don't say things like 'last night didn't matter,' or 'you know nothing.' Every time you try to write something like that off, I see more and more of you, and it hurts me! It hurts me because I know your lying to yourself like I did!" His voice broke, eyes still furious and burning. "You refuse to have a home, friends, everything…but, all you're doing is appeasing your crappy past by reliving the memories!

"Damn it, Kanda, I won't lose you to your cruddy past if I can help it! I will make you happy, even if I have to rewrite your memories!

"…You fool. Don't cry when you make threats." 'You were always like this…' The whisper came to his mind, and it all made sense.

"Fuck you!"

Kanda lightly chuckled. "Much better." He leaned up, and kissed the flustered fool he loved.

"Saa, you were saying something about the house on the hill, Alma?"

It was a beautiful house, emphasized by hidden decreptcy and longing in a worn ruby-red finish, wanting nothing more than to be reworked into the present from an occluded past. A musty scent of a saged, longstanding family pervaded the house, with a lovely staircase in the center rising from the stained earth, coupled by a mute clock; hands frozen on twelve, grasping for Heaven's embrace. A dank parlor gave visions of company and elegance hidden behind velvet curtains, and a kitchen breathed childish homeliness on wooden cutting boards and rose-red brick hearths. To the world, it was a sumptuous, Victorian home; a lily pond tucked in the back and playful, overgrown grass cart-wheeling in the front, standing sentinel over the town on a rolling hill.

"Well, Yuu, we'd have just enough money to make the house run again." Alma anxiously whispered.

"Sure."

Rain pelted the house that night, assaulting the windows and cutting through the playful grass. Windows rattled like cages upon sleeping residents, retaliating on quiet, unspoken truths lost even in dreams.

Black, and white; black, and white. Snow and soot. A black world, but no more harming than an aged photograph repulsive to even time.

This couldn't be all there is to life, could it…? This was his house, but he couldn't imagine being anything but a corpse. In that small corner of his mind, he would imagine tea for two, cordial conversations about nothing in particular, and perhaps a voice to call his own. It was bright, so bright it hurt just a bit. After every reprimand, every machination, every holocaust,

He would wait in the dark; listening and smothering every anxiety for that one moment when he could be in the other's world, and speaking to the empty silence in hopes of being heard.

He hated it. He knew the other 'wasn't real,' but that didn't stop the loneliness between the days, or the increasing madness whenever they had to part. The days grew even more disillusioned – _quarrelsome_ - and he had to be quarantined to keep the madness from poisoning the family.

Sleep came like a trance to spirit away the soul into a fanciful night, and for a second, he would become anything the other wanted, if only for the chance to belong.

Days went by, then months...he became quiet, mourning the loss of a one, true friend as reality finally destroyed the dream.

The only thing to be sure of was the pain, censuring from all sides alike as reality became warped.

Apart, he grew sullen and rebellious, apathetic and forgetful as one last sanctuary from pain that the world had accepted as a fairy tale; as the other grew disparaging, watching days go by as he acted for the other all his dreams, in torn between the lunacy of it and the undying hope that he really wasn't alone.

A beautiful dress to greet you in on a snowy night, and the unfulfilled longing embedded in bones despite every attempt.

We really aren't alone, are we…?

Despite all the horrors the night brings, we find solace in the day, moving each new day to our past, mindful we still inhabit the memories, but unable to really live in something that we have left.

Similarly, Alma and Kanda worked on their new home, building from the past wreckage to their new present.

Summer came and went, Autumn a proposition. In that season, Alma worked up the money for a grand surprise. One night, during dinner, he slipped it in cake batter and watched with wide eyes as Yuu forked it out of his slice. A ring, perfect for his hand as it beamed in the candlelight.

They spent the night passionately between kisses and sheets, welcoming the gentle sunrise with joined hands adorned with gold.

_In a house of the past, they have forgotten them for a happy present; in a world of many inhabitants, their world is only the other…_

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><p>*snif, snif* I love happy endings for chapters. Sorry about the long wait. It seems like starting stories is always easier than finishing them. A lot of revisions, false starts, etc….<p>

One more chapter~! One more chapter 'till the story is over~! *giggles* I can't wait~!

-I still can't get the image of Kanda saying "If you get in the bathtub, I'll undress for you and play with your rubber duck~." 0/./0 I really don't know where that came from…

To review or not to review~ that choice I'll let you review *Muah hah hah hah hah*


	8. Forever, My Love

With the end of this chapter, I shall bid farewell to this story~ I cannot begin to thank you all for sticking with this amateur writer to the end and for the story favorites and alerts and author alerts! *bear hug*

Fasten your seatbelts! This baby has more explosive action than a Michael Bay movie crammed with the emotional overhaul of Titanic! - And a top speed of 400 wpm (words per minute)!

*Yeah, okay, maybe not that amazing* YES! That's right, folks! It's that amazing!

For the end I have known from the beginning, a wonderful ending that  
>will pluck at heartstrings and leave you lost in thought~!<br>*Ahem* Credits!

I do not own anything of Ms. Dickenson's - I am simply giving an interpretation of it seen through this story. The version I used can be found at this website-

http:/ / academic. brooklyn. cuny. edu/english/melani/cs6/stop. Html

-This is the same for all the songs I mentioned at the beginning of every chapter. I do not own them, but I shamelessly plug them with my chapters, because music is the one language everyone understands, no matter what tongue is intentioned.

I already mentioned this, but whatever: I do not own anything of Ms. Hoshino's. If I did, the story would be way less amazing and popular. (…And Hell would frolic and play while Heaven would get the Swine Flu…or something like that…O.o )

Anything else not mentioned is implied to be my own fashionings. Please do not knowingly plagarize.

Get the picture? Just making sure. *Thumbs up*

Chansons: "To Die For"- The Birthday Massacre  
>"Unchained Melody"- The Righteous Brothers<p>

…and to frame the story:

"Only Hope" - Switchfoot

To the Story, Batman~!

* * *

><p>Perhaps, the thing we most search for, beyond the guilded splendor of<br>the entitled and the community of the people, is not 'character' that  
>is fabricated in trying times, but the affirmation that no matter all the<br>violence and machinations of our minds and bodies

We have purpose and are seen in another's eyes.

That is all the justification we have for our cruelty and our suffering.  
>It is in that lonesome solace that we find trembling faith in fellow<br>man when we are so easily broken.

Kanda rushed and rushed, winter wind stinging his face and twigs snarling his hair, scratched legs threatening to fall out underneath him as phlegm eroded his throat. He must not stop…

…Please don't let me stop…  
>Damn it, Alma…<br>Don't let me be right…

_One cannot hope to live without a past…_

_For without a past, one cannot hope for a future._

Out, far out into the clearing…  
>The specter of his mother stood, in the occluded fog of the ancient<br>forest, dagger gleaming red in a chaste light of a stark sunset;  
>shaped of a faultless, submissive love - a cross - it conveyed only to the eyes of the relentless wielder.<br>In their home,

their sacred covenant,

Alma stood. In his dainty hands,  
>his imperfect, faerie hands,<br>kitchen shears were bloodletted with both palms, eyes espousing his lover's  
>lost defiance…<p>

_"'…To know someone's name is to have possession of their existence…'"_

A changeling of purpose; expected from beyond the beginning, and yet denied by the echoes of selfish, steadfast love…

In the one second when everything seems absolute, the world shudders, breaking everything - **daring **us to be more.

In that one second,  
>The past and future collided in the present;<br>Crusading sword cleaving through the 'fantasy' of Yuu's love;  
>Shattering the present in a wave of dejection and Immortal indefinance…<p>

"ALMA!"

_**'…Because I could not stop for Death-  
>He kindly stopped for me-'<strong>_

In a second, Kanda's legs were bent underneath him, reaching for his one connection to the future, the past's sword embedded in his fallen love, painted with blood. Blood that mingled between the two, shared by the rings they both chose…

"Damn it, Alma! Why didn't you run?" Ripping his shirt, Kanda tried to staunch the bleeding, not daring to remove the dagger for fear of Alma – his Alma – bleeding out.  
>His mother – Kanda's mother – was weeping, impaled with the shears. "After everything I sacrificed for you, did you really think you could forget me? Did you really think you could throw me away and not deal with the consequences? She shrieked -<br>In one final second, she snagged her impaler and charged at Kanda – her _**love**_ - with the bloody instrument…

Alma's small frame embraced Kanda's mother, embedding itself into his own weapon as yearning, familial affirmation joined the steeled reality of a pariah. Blood mingled with wide eyes; all were marked with answerless penitence.

Slouching, Alma gurgled an intake of breath, his breath raspy in the attempt to clear his lungs. "Please don't make him run from his past…you are his home - his foundation…" A chocking sound between teary hiccups and a gurgle had him pause. "Please don't alienate Kanda…" Her eyes, wide from the embrace, hazed - suffering cardiac arrest in the one moment when she truly found it.

_Within the changing of time, the Inevitable Purging leaves no prisoners to passion. In its basic regressions, all is simplified and rewritten in a symphony led by a cacophonic maestro in the noblest human bond: sympathy.  
>In the holocaust of everything dear, everything is set anew by forlorn compassion.<em>

"I am sorry, Yuu. I was a fool to think you could possibly live without a past - to do that is to live as ubiquitously as the Gods." He smiled, a cringe hidden with each shuddery breath. "I cannot make amends with my past. I am far too late for that." His red fingers searched the other's face, smoothing over the fault line between the other's  
>furrowed eyes.<p>

Kanda was agravated, tears beyond the anger as his world fell apart - maddened world revived with memories of everything held dear, flickering frantically between the present, past and unknown future, all living through the pallid valentine in his hands. "But, with this blood, I hope to purge your past and transfuse it with memories of us."

_In the end, it was all about you. _

_It always was._

_That is why I'd never run away…_

Alma spasmed in his hands, blood asphyxiating his lungs slowly as his heart sped up for the lack of oxygen, drowsiness slowly numbing his mind, but not fast enough for the excruciating pain. Yuu could only compress his wounds, watching him suffer only and immeasurably…

_**"The carriage held but just ourselves  
>And Immortality-"<strong>_

Kanda reached for the impaled scissor's end - but found _Her_ nails digging  
>into his arm, lamenting at their end. No - it was Alma - it had always been him.<br>"No… Don't..." Alma whispered, rattling as he struggled to clear his throat, oxygen a struggle between the words and blood falling from his lips.  
>He kissed Yuu, fragments of his remaining life bequeathed in the scared exchange under the dusk sky. Under the cold sky, snow began to fall, purifying everything that had been.<p>

"I will…always be here…Between our…past…and what we wanted…to be," He hacked up blood, trying to find words in a hazy mind smothered with pain, forgoing oxygen for final goodbyes. "…Echoing… love…as I guide…you…when the time…comes… I'll wish you…well…when…someone... holds your…heart…"

He gasped, imploring for just a few more seconds. His eyes felt heavy, and he couldn't stop them from sinking, his mind muffled as all the strength he had left was sacrificed to his love.

"..And… kiss you… when.. your… time… comes- …don't… forget…our…mem..ories…" He shuddered, coughing one last time as both the past and future overcame him, fading along with him. For one second, he could feel everything enclosing on itself, hands reaching towards the heavens, but not the ones he'd known. It was warm, warmer than what he'd known, reaching towards the jubilance… He felt himself sink completely, words and oxygen spent as he faded away in spirit and body…

He was at peace; an angelic smile plastering strained features.

_**'Or rather, he passed us;  
>The dews grew quivering and chill,<br>For only gossamer my gown,  
>My tippet only tulle.'<strong>_

_'Even though many exchanges may pass between us, my memories_

_of you will forever remain the lantern that leads me to you; and I will_

_forever pray to be yours, as I have always been-'  
><em>

_Epilogue_

On summer nights, Kanda would go down to their lily pond, the one that overlooked their house, and watch as the world was lit up by fireflies. Like embers of a smoldering fire, the love they shared had been intimate to them; something that the world outside could never truly comprehend.

As the dark night was lit up by fireflies, he welcomed his guests and their warmth illuminated by their infatuations.

'_**Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each  
>Feels shorter than the day<br>I first surmised the horses' heads  
>Were toward eternity.'<br>**_

_On a night like this, the world is exalted by those flickering fairies…_

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><p>Few! *Fans self* That sure took a lot to write! You're not crying, are you? I hope you like the ending either way, I worked really hard on it~! One extra chapter will *probably* be added later of <em>scraped<em> storyline, if I can resist deleting it (so far, it's an uphill battle). If you're bored and/or want to delve deeper, I'll add some links to aspects and references in this story-

http:/ / en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Bloodletting

http:/ /en. wikipedia . org/wiki/Double_ganger

–Especially the stories. Quite interesting, if you have the time. (This also ties into the theme of a fairy familiar, which is a separate link with the fairy one.)

http:/ /en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Fairy#Folk_beliefs

Ironically, I found a tab on this link that mentions knowing a fairy's name as a requisite for them as a familiar (willingly or not) to the point where they can die for them.

http:/ /en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Changelings

http:/ / en. wikipedia . org/wiki/Changeling#Neurological_differences

Quite interesting for the real-world view that can also be interpreted in this story.

It's been said the impossible follows for those who let it in; why should it be limited to one aspect~? ^^

For chapter 6-

http:/ /en. wikipedia. org/wiki/The_Convergence_of_the_Twain

– which I directly referenced - my bad for not mentioning this sooner. ^^;; I recommend reading this poem by Thomas Hardy yourself; the page only works as a poor generalization.


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